He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
