just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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