When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
