I murdered the dance floor call the cops
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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