she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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