she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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