dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
