How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
