She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize