I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize