And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
