Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
