Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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