Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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