question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
