operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
