She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
