Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
i now understand why vodka
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
