found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
