the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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