I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
