He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
