hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
