id be glad to
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
