Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
