I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize