It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
