just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Alive.
So much puke
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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