If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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