yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
