I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
