I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
