Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
