i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
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