ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
