If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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