couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You're like the curious george of whores
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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