So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
