something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
