508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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