Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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