Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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