All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
