Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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