You really coming over, don't trick.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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