Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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