he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
