her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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