I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
