i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
