i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
