Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize