She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
