how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
