you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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