I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
