I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She's the barista slut.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
