WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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