Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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