DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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