just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
