I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
