Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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