Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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