Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
