When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
